Today was quite an alright day! :) Except that _______ was -_____-. Other than that I'm going to blog! Like finally huh? I'm taking a break from all my studying because I need to unwinddd. So anyway, today was my first driving lesson, and I seriously had s much fun. HAHA!

My coach was seriously very nice and he kept laughing at me. haha! Like I was so scared to drive but like he told me must have confidence! Don't know how many million times I have heard that word in my life. haha! But anyway, I got to drive around the circut like 20 times? HAHA! I was driving then my car stalled for like 4-6 times? I don't know la, I felt so lousy. =(

Anyway, I was being such a kapo shit la. haha! There was this man talking to the motorist then I was like looking and then I went into the another lane, then the coach was like you got to keep your eyes on the road! HAHAHAHAHA, then he said this type of thing nothing to see one. HAHA. =p So freaking funny! I loved every minute of it. :)


Then today in School, I did not even study for the test, zzz I was so unprepared. =( I'm losing my drive to do well, but the test was rather simple and today the questions he asked me were all easy which was really good. haha. :)

Okay, Sunday! Spoke for Alpha, I guess it was alright. I was like pretty fast and like I hope people managed to get what I was speaking. But yeah, it's over. One less thing to worry about. It was not that scary for me because in school we have to present like so many times it has become a habit. haha! After that Went to teach Sunday School with Shu and Amanda. HAHAHA
We were all taking retarded pictures, and Shu took this picture of Li en through her phone. super cool! HAHAHA. I'm still waiting for my Picture Montage Shu En. HAHAHA


Daniel cracks me up! he was so scared to step down on the stairs and like shu and I had to carry him down. HAHAHAHA. That class that day was super fun for some reason maybe because it was about plants. HAHAHA. Apple seeds! :)
Thanks to everyone who wished me all the best before I spoke on Sunday. :) Gave me the extra confidence I needed!

And Finally Saturday! The best day ever! I have to admit I was so reluctant in going because New Creation was organizing it and if you recall last year we all left early when they brought out the New Creation band. haha!

I hope everyone had fun! Holidays are coming!

CHURCH CAMP

BALI

PROJECT SUBMISSION.

WOOOPIEEEEEE :0)

Made it through another week, this week was rather okay but almost going to be sucky. I don't know but like I got really upset with myself when I got back the test paper for my Plant Test, I was really very disappointed with myself and like I know the last test that I did will be worst then this. I'm so prepared for the worst. =(

Amanda told me to have more confidence, but like I was thinking I already know the mistakes I make and I can't be confident I will do well because I know I already did badly.

Next week is going to be as crazy as this, more Landscape Design, More Powerpoint, New projects, starting on old projects, Common test week, omg. shoot me. =(

I never knew this year would be so tough, I have been working my hardest because I wanna reach my goal. I will seriously be shattered if I don't get in. sigh.

And you know what sucks more? The freaking weather! like wth, why is it so freaking hot? It pisses me off that the weather is so damn screwed up.

SIGHHH.

I just hope tmr, when we all go for Hillsongs, It will be refreshing like planetshakers. Everyone is expecting it to be lousy. But we'll see tmr. Back to my work.

BTW, AMD AND I PASSED OUT BTT. :)

Thanks Amanda for assuring me that I can do it!

Today was so EMOTIONAL! The stress is really getting to me and on top of that my personal thoughts are getting to me that I'm being excluded from things.

I know, it's stupid. But like I'm really the sort of personal that worries too much about not important things in life. But like today after letting everything out, Amd, Shu, Rachel, Joyce were there to comfort me.

Thank you, I'm sorry for being so emotional today, I just kept keeping everything in and that today I just lost it because I could not control it anymore. Thank you amd for forgiving me too, I just needed to get that assurance from you that everything between us is back to normal.

So after church, I left for dinner. Was supposed to have it last week, but my Grandmother was really sick so we had to change it to today, I wished Titus and Jonathan was there. I have not seen Jonathan in 3 months and like he msged me saying he had to book in for army. But I got to "hang out" with krislyn, she is soo sweet.

She kept feeding me her honeystars and asking me if she could touch my glass of cold water. She's the sweetest thing. :) Jedi is getting more and more good looking too. And it was very good to see my cousin Daniel and Evangeline. Even though we do not see each other that often, every time I see them it will always be fun.

My Aunt bought us Ben and Jerry's too and like there was dry ice in the bag so we placed it in water and Jedi and Krisyln was so amazed by it and they kept blowing the smoke. It was so funny to watch them get so amazed by these little things.

After that, went shopping because I needed retail therapy and I guess it helped. I bought quite a number of stuff. haha

The Lexus LS460 is so freaking cool, it can park by itself. I was just telling aaron how I wanted it and like you don't even need to do anything and it parks by itself. SUPER COOL.

Done with my alpha slides, found the video
now all I have left is, LD Project, LPM Project, Driving Test, TXP Test, PM Common Test, Turf Mang Project, PID Project, Hort Engin Report.

"WOOPIEDOO"

Learning plant names now, was supposed to go for Dragon boating but I backed out because I have so much studying and projecting to do. The house is awfully quiet today, just that way I like it.

I have been listening to Barcelona all morning and like I think the lyrics are really nice and such sad songs. Anyway, I'm rather happy that I stayed home. I feel that if I do want to reach my goal of going to Australia then I think I should stay home. Sometimes to get what you want you have to sacrifice your favourite things in life. Sad but true. I hope everyone has fun at Dragon Boating, I'm going back to study my plants.

Ale, don't give up okay? if you want to talk to me I'm here for you like you were here for me. :) love you loads. Somehow we don't see each other anymore but our bond is still strong as ever. Chuzzleeee buddy. :)

G-O-O-D DAY! :)

Got back my test and full marks man! I just need to continue to work/study hard to get through this sem, so anyway after all the classes had to do our final year project and OMG, SO FREAKING TIRING

I did not know like much of my group mates except like one girl. So anyway, we started off making the compost, omg, so tiring can? I wanted to die I think I made like 6 different compost with Nisa. My hands has cuts and now I have to cover it up. One thing really funny was that when we did our compost, my hands started turning very very black. I could not stop laughing. haha

Anyway, my group mates rocks like crazy! There is this guy called Loy, he's so freaking funny! He keeps saying I have a accent when he has one too -________-. HAHA, but like yeah, it was really funny we were all like posing for some camera shot because we need to show our mentor that we actually doing work. HAHA.

My hands hurt like crap. Anyway, I think we did so much today, actually they dug a "grave" last week so this week was to make compost and mix it with the old soil and backfill it back, my shirt and hands were so freaking dirty but at least my group guys were really helpful. It was so funny because we had to throw away some soil and like it kept pouring out on the ground. HAHA, and like the guys had to keep picking it up.

But like yeah, the other group in the same plot of land is seriously so stressed too, they have to design the entire land and I have to say it's pretty crazy to finish everything. But all the best. :)

I think my group members are really funny, freaking cracks me up. And like Zi Jian keeps digging the ground like nobody's business, super hardworking and victor was really helpful when I could not open the stupid bag of organic matter and he even got his jeans dirty because he helped me. haha.

But like yeah, today was a good day. I hope everyday till this sem ends will be fun. I miss laughing. I have not laughed for the past few days, so many depressing things. It's like something I do not like (school) is the one actually making my day. I guess God is trying to show me something. :)

Okay, Back to work. =(

God is with me in the depths
If I go to the heavens,
you are there;
If I make my bed in the depths,
you are there.
Psalm 139:8

Sometimes life is hell.
That's how it feels.
It feels like we have taken up residence in hell.
Sometimes the darkness overwhelms us.
Sometimes we hurt so much that we can't imagine experiencing joy or peace ever again. Sometimes we seem to have 'made our bed ' in a place that God has deserted, a place from which God has turned away.

But the psalmist says 'even if I make my bed in the depths, you are there'.
There are no genuinely God-forsaken places on our journey.
There are no places unfamiliar to God.
It is a difficult and painful journey, but our lines of support are not stretched thin.
God is not at a distance.
He is with us.

If God is with us, we can travel through those dark times in recovery, those times in hell.
If God is with us, we can hold on through the difficult emotional and spiritual roller coaster of recovery.
No matter where I am, Lord you are with me.
If I am up, today. You are here. If I am down. You are here.
If I am very, very down. You are still here.
If I am very, very, very, very, very down. You are here.
Thank you.
Even in the terrible times when I am in the depths, you are there with me.
Your presence is a ray of hope in the dark times of my recovery.

Amen

Lord please help my current situation, that everything bewteen ____ and I will be alright again. I'm sorry for saying what I said to _____ and I pray that she will forgive me and that everything will be alright again. I pray that you will remove all the anger I had in my heart and I pray you remove whatever jealously I might carry in my heart. Please Lord, I really need you to help me patch things up with her. Amen.

I shall do a proper update about school since I'm taking a break now. :)

So anyway, Monday was just overall a terrible day. It started with me waking up feeling like crap, I was heating up like I felt as if I was going to burn to death, I kept sneezing and my throat hurt like crap. And just to make things worst, I had school at 8 30am.

So got to class and there was like a freaking quiz and I thought it was going to be super easy because there is not much you need to study for but OHH BOY! I was wrong alright. I had to re-read like half of the questions again because I did not which was the right answer. It kinda made me remember that my driving evaluation was like that too. HAHA.

After that was the dreadful WORLD ISSUES, don't know how long my group and I have been stuck on doing the power point for stereotyping. haha, but I'm happy to say that it's done. :) anyway, back to my horrid day, I turned on my laptop then I tried to search my bad for the thumb drive and like I freaking could not find it! like I was so sure I placed it in my bag but then I remembered that I left it at home. -___________-" so when the other groups were presenting I was like forcing myself to remember what I typed in the PPT I saved at home. I did not save it in my laptop because I'm scared it might run out of space because of my over excess pictures. HAHA.

But like manage to show it to her and then she told us what we needed to improve then after that I rushed off because I wanted to go see the doctor. BUT IT WAS FREAKING CLOSED. So decided to go home and sleep. Waited for my dad to come home to drive me to silver cross at Holland V. I was thinking, "Great!" Silver Cross, it's going to be super crowded like how it was always crowded like 24/7. But when I got there, there was NO ONE! Even the Nurse was watching Ellen on channel 5. HAHA.

After seeing the doctor, Dad drove me home and went back to sleep.

I did not go to school on tues, I felt like shit.

I did not go to school on wed, I did not feel like it. HAHAHA, nah, I had no lessons. But I went to do plant hunting at 4 different flower shops. haha, I was dying because it was so freaking hot.

Thursday, which is today. I had my first test which I guess it was okay, the classroom was so dark I could not really see my handwriting, hopefully he can read everything. HAHAHA. :)

Yeah, anyway, I missing the church people. =( I can't wait to spend time with them on sat and Sunday.

And I don't know why this sentence keeps popping up in my head about what eugene said in Cell Group, instead on lampstands he said lampshades? hahaahaha, I keep laughing to myself it's so retarded. HAHA

PEACE OUT!

I have no idea why I'm still awake at this time. I seriously can't sleep. The medication that I'm on is supposed to make me really sleepy but it seems to be doing the totally opposite.

Well lately school has been eating into my life and I have no more time to spend with the friends because I'm always so busy with school stuff. It's like I can't even find time to have fun, and even if I do find time when I'm out, I can't help but worry at all the work I have to complete when I get home.

So like just now at about 10 30pm, I was really really sleepy. So I like laid in bed till like 11 30 then I could not sleep. So I tried all the different methods to fall asleep, usually I would count sheeps or like play music. But nothing worked.

Then I tried to think about school work, but it just got me even more stressed out. Then suddenly the plant list popped into my mind and like I went down the list mentally and I got stuck at the plant Episcia cupreata and like I could not remember the family name, so like I got up to find my plant list and like checked the family name then I went back to bed. (I know some of you might think I'm strange) haha

Then 30 mins later, I got stuck at the same plant again, so I got up, on the lights to checked for the family name. But this time I made sure I remembered it. I think now I know why I can't sleep, I have so many things on my mind I can't sleep in peace. Sometimes in the middle of the night I would suddenly wake up because I have so many things that needs to be done.

I was supposed to send my group leader a file tmr morning, but like I could not wait to do it tmr so I got up and send her the file. I don't like things piling up in my life and I don't like doing things last minute. The more I type all this the more I realised that I'm really strange. HAHA.

Anyway, back to school tmr. I guess my fever is dropping. I checked it just now and it was 38.2. It was like 38.4 in the morning, hopefully tmr won't be so draining because I seriously might faint if I'm being overworked. haha! I kind of enjoy this sem, even though it's really hectic, it is helping me keep my mind of personal feelings and emotions. Like the only time I start "emo-ing" is when I'm taking breaks and all. But usually now they last for like a few minutes then it's back to work.

Lots of things happening in May:

1. Alpha Weekend away
2. Dragon Boating
3. Hillsong United Concert [still can't believe we are going:)]
4. Speaking for Alpha on the 25th
5. Submission of Projects (27th May)
6. Presentation of Projects (30th May)
7. Practical Test for Turf Mang( (29th May)
8. Basic Theory Test (21st May) <- LIKE FINALLY!

Packed like CRAZY! I need to get through this month and hopefully I can enjoy my June holidays in peace. :)

OMG! IRON MAN WAS FREAKING AWESOME! :) :)

It was a super unplanned movie outing but because Nat asked if Shu and I were free, and then I told Shu that I wanted to watch Iron Man. Actually I never expected to watch it. BUT OMG OMG I L-O-V-E THE SHOW. I'LL GIVE IT LIKE FREAKING 4.5 STARS OUT OF 5. :)

The ending was kind of hanging but like I guess there is going to be a second Iron Man show. The actor Robert Downey, was so freaking awesome! He is so sarcastic and funny. Shu En and I could not stop laughing at the things he does and what he says. It totally craps me up. And at the end of all he does have a heart. :)

I can totally watch this movie over and over again. EVERYONE MUST WATCH IT! Thanks Shu and Nat for watching the movie! :) And so so sorry I was late. Alright, I better get back to my essay, have to send it to my classmate at like night. And looking at the time I don't have much time left. haha.

LOVE!!