I have decided to write this today because I felt someone/something telling me to write this. :) if you don't want to rread this you can just read the ending. ;)

SCGS

It all started with me being place in the best school ever, SCGS. It was a true blessing and of course at that age I probably did not know what was happening and all and I did not really take studies as a priority in my life. I was more focused in other things in life, dance, friends and having fun. I believe very strongly in you reap what you sow.

So I ended doing really badly in PSLE. And I was so bad that I was sent to Normal Academic and it was not a very pleasant place to be because all my Church friends and SCGS friends were going to good schools and all in the special stream or the express stream.

For that I was thrown to Queensway secondary school, I had to give up my passion for dance and the other secondary school I was placed in did not offer dance as a CCA which was actually quite disappointing.

I think not many people know this but I actually appealed for many many secondary schools to get me into a Christian School, like St Mag or Fairfield but all of them just decided to "reject Melissa Day" haha, so I had to suck it up and face the music and to just go to QSS.

I had a lot of anger in me that I was being sent there, I was taken out of my comfort zone and I was placed with "the others" that's how proud I was, I thought as long as you do not belong to an elite school you are nothing!

First day sucked, there were boys roaming the halls of the school, so disgusting and everyone spoke a foreign language to me... CHINESE. I was obviously really confused and lost in school because not only was I in a neighbourhood school I was placed in the Normal Academic stream.

When I first stepped into my class, it never got better. I got teased for speaking English and being the good girl, but you can't blame me for being brought up this way in SCGS haha. I had to adapt quickly to this class in order to "fit in".

So I decided that if I joined a CCA maybe I can hang out with people from the express stream and maybe I will be able to clique with them, so I decided to join Choir, a low profile CCA but I always enjoyed singing, it was something I love to do besides dance. So I picked that up and I started meeting new people and nice people, I started being less angry with God and started to accept things and move forward and not harp on the past. I even met Joyce which is amazing because now she has been saved. :)

I did really well in Secondary Two and got promoted to the express stream! and became a prefect as well. After that, everything else pretty much fell into place till O levels came.

This was a second hit, I felt that maybe I got too comfortable with the fact that since everything is going well everything else in my life will just continue to be great and wonderful. But God does not like it when we lean on him only when we have problems and all.

O LEVELS

O Levels came and who does not want to get into a good school right? when I applied, I was hoping to get into at least one of my 12 choices, but sadly I did not. I did got rejected by not 1 choice but 12 different choices, How great is that seriously? I was thinking to myself can my day get any worst.

I was left with nothing, so I tried to appeal with my CCA and all but guess what? I did not get through that either.

But God's timing is perfect, he gave me a spot in Ngee Ann Poly and I really don't regret it. I made amazing friends and all.

Anyway, to cut it all short, this is what I want to say. ( talk so much crap then now tell us what you want to say) HAHA

here goes:

1. Sometimes we feel that whatever we want to do/get in life is what we have to do. But God's plans and thoughts are higher than ours. He knows us way better than anyone else. He created us, DUH HE SHOULD KNOW RIGHT? HAHA. And sadly his plans for us and our will not tally but we should accept that and take up with God has for us.
2. Sometimes when we are being thrown into something we do not enjoy, it takes time before you do and only at the end when you look back and reflect you will be able to see why God put you through whatever you thought might be hell.
3. Sometimes, we are being "brought around the entire world" to end up where we should be, but every different step that we take is a learning experience.
4. Through situations like these, it helps you grow as a person and you are able to see a lot things when you fall down and work your way up again.
5. God loves you very much, and he will give you what he KNOWS you can handle.
6. I feel that so far whatever that I was being put through all the ups and downs, I finally know what I'm supposed to do and even though I took the long route to find out, I'm glad I did it.
7. We must trust in God( not easy I know) I sometimes find it hard too and give it up to God but I always tell myself that God knows best and whatever comes your way and if you have a feeling to get on it! GET ON IT! don't have second thoughts, and even if it's something that sucks, you have a experience. :)
8. Prayer works! we need to be consistent in what we pray for and to ask God to show his plans for you. :)
9. It's through suffering that you are able to be stronger and to tell others about how great God has been in your life.

Now that I look back, I do not regret anything anymore. And from today onwards, I'm going to work hard in school and not disappoint anyone. :)

God knows the right way to go. :) lalalaal HAVE A GREAT DAYZ. I CAN'T WAIT TO GO HOME AND SLEEP! AHHAA

I'm over it already.

I really wonder why I do this so often, like one minute I'm totally fine and I'm going with the flow, other times I feel that whatever is going on around me is not very christian like and I think to myself why did I say/do that.

And then I know that God is disappointed in me and I cannot undo what I did/say and sometimes I try very hard to stop or be quiet but the situation I'm placed in is seriously not an easy one to be with. It's really hard to be a Christian, it's not that I'm giving up, it's just sometimes when you stumble and fall down, it's really depressing and hard to get up.

I really respect those Christians that are so grounded, I really do want to change my ways..

I'm not writing this for you to think I'm trying to act holy or whatever, but this has been bothering me for quite sometime and it's so wrong but yet I'm not strong enough to overcome this.

MAJOR SIGH!

Today was such a long day, I'm quite thankful that work is ending soon because I really need a break. I'm quite sick of waking up early, haha I think Charissa will agree with me.

In the office, time passed by so slowly, took a million quizzes, talked to people on msn, played games and all, but yet the time refused to move any faster.

Life is kind of sian now, like in the sian stage and I can't help it, so many things going through my mind everything that I'm looking forward too comes too quickly and ends too fast, like things I dread, creeps up to me so slowly and ends up being reallyyyyyy looonngggg.

sigh. damn emo, I'm sorry if my moodiness has affected anyone. Just going though a lot of shit right now. =(

I have not posted a decent post in a really long time, so I shall do it now since I have lots of photos and things to blog about. :)

Lets start with my new camera, I got it as my graduation gift from my parents(dad) haha! He was really nice about it and I'm really thankful I got it because I kinda took his Sony camera and made it mine. HAHA. So yeah, canon is great! It has been such a great way to escape into photography. :) So whatever pretty thing I see, I will be snapping away on my camera. My lovely bangles from HK, don't worry it's not infected with swine flu. HAHA. :)


SUNDAY!

In church we were talking about how we knew that God is real and how we must learn how to tackle these type of questions that was being shot at us, I have to say I'm the sort of person that has to take about one week to prepare and it's not my kind of thing to be placed in the spot and answer like that. So I guess it was a good way to see how much I can do to interest the group of people I was speaking to.

After YE, helped out SHU in Sunday school, the kids are so cute and it's really fun to see them laugh when I say something. It just makes me remember how much fun I had when I was that age, so carefree and loving every bit of life having nothing much to worry about. I'm sure the kids that day learnt alot from SHU about perseverance.
We learnt a lot that day and it was so cute how the guys + Li en were in black and the girls in pink! HAHA. :)

So after Church, Shu's Family and I headed to West Coast Plaza which was Shaunald's Favourite hangout place when it was GINZA. HAHA kidding, but now the entire place has been transformed and it looks way better now. And there was even a photo shoot which Shu, Leps and I took part in. :) so cool huh!

Nah, I'm kidding, it was just random items lying everywhere. haha. Shu saying stop, like as if people will bother listening to that! HAHAHAHA!

MEET MY NEW CAMERA. :)

woots woots!

Thanks Daddy! :)

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THIS IS? =P

A ZOOMED OUT PHOTOGRAPH